More GTL for the last gasp of summer: Crowbar

This September we've had an Indian Summer.  And it feels like August when I was in high school in the 90s.  I'm lifting weights and in the best shape I've been in over a decade.  I feel young again.  And for GTL I'm listening to some old Crowbar.


They don't make albums that sound like this anymore.

Crowbar is a band I never listened to as a teen, but I should have.  I spent too much money on crap albums back in the pre-internet era and didn't want to gamble on an album based on one Beavis and Butthead clip and Phil Anselmo's name on the back as producer.


Yeah what a fool I was.

This album is great for lifting weights.  Slow and angry.  And it takes me back and feels nostalgic, even though I didn't listen to it back in the day.  Just the sound of those drums without triggers, the fat guitars with scooped mids, the yelling vocals that don't growl, hiss, or scream. It feels like back before air conditioning was ubiquitous and summers felt hot.  Back before everything became extreme and the Scandanavian invasion and Death Metal rising.  Back in the day.  Summer.  Uncomfortably hot; t-shirt sticking to skin and beads of sweat on brow.  Even the air smells different when it isn't cooled, condensed, and filtered.  The smell of summer.

Summer's quickly fading.  The cool crisp in the evening feels like autumn.  The start of school.  Of days less hazy and halcyon.  Days of the rote monotony.

Talkin' Jazz

In my more youthful and vigorous days I hated jazz.  It was old and tired.  Filled with a poisonous rage, I thirsted for vengeful music.  Now I myself and old and tired.  I find myself downloading those old Blue Note records from the Cosmic Hearse.  My weary body shudders at the thought of lifting weights whilst listening to Danzig.  Instead I crave a dark corner with a glass of whiskey and some music to fit the mood:  soft, slow, and as fragile as Dennis Dixon's knee.  Let me sit and rest awhile.  What has become of me?

Am I am becoming more than nothing?

The pursuit of knowledge comes with a heavy price.  What new liquor is there to try?  What news songs are there to hear?  What have I to say anymore?  Nothing.



File photo of Mr. Booze feeling defeated

Can someone explain this picture?

It says Pennsylvania Realist Pop Punk.  I am so confused [via being old and out of touch].  I have no idea what realist pop punk might be. 

Embrace your inner Goth with a pint of whiskey

It's cold and grey.  The sort of grey that is perfect.  The buildings downtown are silhouettes in the haze and a film of moisture covers my overcoat.  I want to drink Canadian whisky.  Or else a really "heavy" whiskey.  Maybe Old Fitzgerald.  Definitely something good and cheap and a little rough around the edges.



I can't embed this (WHY?) but I saw an 8 year old sing Love Will Tear Us Apart with the family band last weekend.  I can't decide if this is like the Partridge Family or Dad Rock or what.  They're not very good by the way.

Wait, where was I going with this?  Oh, while all the whimps like Morrissey you were probably listening to Joy Division on your walkman and taking shots of vodka from your locker because Morrissey is for the kids who get beat up in gym class and Joy Division is for the kids who don't go to gym class.

But when the rain stops and streets start to dry all your cities will turn to dust





Once upon a time I worked the night shift.  The most depressing thing wasn't sleeping through the day but being locked inside all night.  Outside at night is where the wicked spirits play.

Soon I'll put the wool coat away, and bring out the raincoat. Spring is right around the corner. Hope springs eternal.

Until then it is a long haul.



Just keep on walking, and remember that Goth is a state of mind.  And a rumbling bass guitar.




So you can take all your black eyeliner and black leather baubles, bangles, and beads and shove them up your ass.


Back when big hair meant something



WTF???



It is like that video for Scar Tissues but not boring and whiny which is kinda weird when you think about it.  Maybe I'm wrong here.  After all I did eat the Carne Asada from Costco.

Jeezus that article is so spot on.  My wife and I couldn't decide if we would be better off to just vomit that shit up after we made the mistake of swallowing it down.  Where was I going with this?  Oh right, rumbling bass guitars...



Right.  So just remember that even Robert Smith finds some redemption every now and again, even though he probably spent his share of time getting shoved into lockers he probably spent just as much time smoking in the boys room and kissing girls behind the bleachers.  He probably snuck a pint of cheap Canadian whisky to the pep rally and wandered off alone above a raging sea...



Ok that last one might get you shoved inside a locker.

Sometimes I think it's too bad that cigarettes have been outlawed...

Bargain Bin Saraceno

Yesterday's post over at metalsucks gave me fond memories of a summer long gone. I can't remember the year exactly, but I think it was back in 2001. 2001 was fun times. Will we ever see their like again?

Back then I used to comb the bargain bins at music stores looking for bargains. Bargains! I found a few gems, including a Venom box set from way back when Black Metal was out of print and you couldn't even buy it through some mail order distro let alone Amazon. I rolled the dice on a few discs, including two by a guitarist named Blues Saraceno.

I bought the albums Never Look Back and Plaid for a buck a piece. I remember them as being a bit like Satriani, but not quite as enchanting. This is back when Ozzy had replaced Zak Wylde - a student of Randy Rhodes - with Joe Holmes. Another student of Randy Rhodes. So my friends joked that in the future Ozzy would run out of Rhodes students and end up with students of Blues Saraceno playing guitar in his band.



Not sure what "Frazin'" is, but the classic Ibanez through a shitty solid state in the 1980s tone is great.



Jitterblast is like the poor man's Eruption. Bask in the glory.





Weather channel smooth jazz and frizzy hair like Kenny G? Was this a virus that infected 80s shred guitarist? That would make Blues Saraceno it's second victim.

Not sure what the audience was for Plaid. Post glam shred must have been a very sad time for Blues. Is that irony? It is kind of funny that he replaced that guy that replaced CC Deville in Poison. That's worse than being the replacement Dick on Bewitched.

That was a good summer, by the way. I didn't own a car and I biked everywhere and while some people think that makes you a loser I was a lot happier biking than I am now driving everywhere in my car. I biked to the mall that day that I bought Blues Saraceno at the music store that is probably empty now. The mall itself is probably gone too. It is a shame really and I wish I could have those days back. That's why I am so old.

Obligatory ICP post

Much like blogging about your cats or children or complaining about your wife, blogging about ICP has become bad form. Mostly because there is little substance besides LOLZ at Juggalos. It is like blogging about that hobo sleeping in his own piss. Sure it is funny, but that goes on every night. It isn't exactly blog worthy is it? To be fair there are were plenty of newsworthy Juggalo posts. I had no idea there were Juggalos south of Toledo until a few years ago when ICP became internet fodder for my boyz @ metalsucks and IllCon. I was actually a bit surprised they were still around. I mean I remember them building a following when I was in Middle School. That was about 100,000 years ago.

But the most noteworthy thing about this Juggalo post is the observation a friend of mine made.



I would never have guessed that the ache that happens when you realize how quickly time is passing by, could be brought on by the latest Gathering of the Juggalos infomercial.



The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

Too bad my phone ate my blog post I wrote earlier today. Maybe you'll get some substance tomorrow?

Also, WTF could a Juggalo seminar be like?



This but with clown makeup?