I am an alchemist

Or:  everything can ferment!

Of my many hobbies one of the most fascinating is brewing.  While I am slowly closing in on a good process for small batch beer brewing, that is not my main area of research.  I am primarily researching the exotic field of non-grape winemaking.  Right now everything is working simply, and aging gently.

I have one gallon of date wine, one gallon of mango wine, and one gallon of banana wine.  Today I will add one gallon of coconut wine to the cellars.  These are all fermented from fresh fruit blended and filtered by me.  The big exception is the coconut water, which I purchased at Costco and thus making it the most expensive wine base at 12 dollars a gallon.

The process of fermenting feels like alchemy, but the next step is the real magic.  The next step is blending.  Mango banana wine.  Banana coconut wine.  You know, like that.  My highest hopes are for the banana wine and various iterations:  a mulled banana wine brewed with cinnamon and vanilla (that's next on deck), and the banana wine blends.  I will share some of my best recipes with you boozehounds because you can't find these sorts of wines at the local liquor store.

Much like blending is the esoteric arts of whiskey distilling, wine blending is an art and one that I hope to master.  After all, who else is making grocery store fruit wine?  And who knows, perhaps this skill will port over into beer making.  Beer blends?  Why not?

Mister Booze joins a posse

If you go to the website for Carlo Rossi jug wine you can find, if you dig, a link for the Carlo Rossi Posse.  I think the link only appears if you click on the trophy case and see all the awards Carlo Rossi 4 liter jug wines have won.  For reals.

How do you become a part of Carlo Rossi's Posse and what does it entail?  From the website:

Carlo Rossi was a simple, practical man with a down to earth demeanor and sharp sense of humor. He liked to talk about his wine, but always would have rather been drinking it with friends. Since the beginning, Carlo Rossi and his fans have remained true to the wines heritage and no-nonsense, straightforward style. Surviving decades of fads, trends and dance crazes, Carlo Rossi and his posse kept their jug nearby and rose above it all.

It's been 30 years since Carlo began making his wine. Now, we're searching for a regular guy or gal who embodies Carlo Rossi's spirit through his/her own signature style and genuine characteristics, and who truly is the leader of their pack. It's time to honor someone like Carlo, who kept it real, good and honest.

That says to me that they are looking for another spokesman.  Someone who can sell this stuff to young people.  Because the only people I know that drink it are in their 60s. While I'd like to spread the good word about this jugwine, I don't think I can convince young people that this is stuff worth drinking.  Besides I already look like an old man.  

I'd like to point out one thing on the website that makes me a "posse" member.  The food pairing selector.  Want to know which jug goes with supreme pizza, fried chicken, or nachos?  Carlo knows, and he will hook you up.



Take it away Carlo



Truth!

You might recall old Mr. Booze looking for similar wine pairings.  So I feel I found a kindred spirit in Mr. Rossi and his approximately 1 gallon glass jugs of wine.  Though mark my words:  the day they ship these in plastic jugs is the day I stop drinking Carlo Rossi.

Booze enthroned triumphant

Good news on the booze front.  Fast food is going to start selling alcohol.  Take that, teetotalling scoundrels.  And as you know, Mr. Booze has been pioneering the art of mixing cheap food with cheap wine.  Now my army expands as snooth gets in on the review game.  I'm wondering which Wendy's menu item goes with Carlo Rossi's wine selections.  Anyone?

The raisin wine follies

Brace yourself.



No foolin'!  Yeah it went down like this.

I started brewing raisin wine.  I altered the recipe slightly from the original conception.  Only a half cup of rolled oats.  I used a lot of raisins.  I used too many raisins.  I spiced it with cinnamon and cloves.  I threw in some sugar.  Also some pectic enzyme and acid to help clarify and break things up.  Did I buy that stuff or inherit it from my roommate?  Maybe it will help break down some of the starches, but I doubt it.

I used the yeast from the old slurry.  Previously I saved the slurry in a jar in the fridge.  Care was taken to activate it before pitching just in case I screwed something up.  I've never reused a yeast cake in this way before.  I even used a bit of yeast food just in case, since I've never pitched yeast in this manner before.

In the morning no activity.  In the evening when I got home no activity; a little bubbling on top but no real action.  I suspected that the must ended up too thick.  This could spoil the whole batch.

After shaking it up a bit the activity grew more vigorous.  But I knew trying to ferment porridge would cause problems.  So action!



This can't end well, can it?

First, I freed up another container by racking the pineapple coconut wine into two smaller vessels, their final container.  Then I cleaned the old vessel and dumped over half the raisin porridge in and shook it up and dumped some back so that they were equal levels.  I then topped them both off with water which was allowed to sit and de-chlorinate.  I basically diluted the wine.  Now I have twice as much raisin wine fermenting.  One batch, having more of the bottom contents, is more viscous than the other and is consequently less vigorous in its fermentation.  But they are both brewing.

At this point I actually ran out of airlocks and had to MacGuyver some new ones with tape and some piping I found on the handle of Mrs Booze's purse.  I'm also out of carboys so no new batches from me.  Probably.  Though there was a slight sulfur smell greeting me this evening.  Oh noes, contamination!  Well hopefully not.  It was a very slight smell, especially considering there is twice as much brewing as usual.  It was awfully hot today and now that it has cooled off the smell seems to be gone.  Maybe.  I hope I don't have to dump all this hooch.



You know who has the heebie jeebies? My wine, bitches.

New homebrewing project: beer vs wine

I was reading James Joyce's Ulysses on the train.  Close to Bloom's day and all.  I was at the part where Blazes Boylan, Dignam, and Stephen Dedalus were discussing Hamlet at the pub.  I found I wanted a beer.  I haven't bought a beer in a long time.  I wanted a specific beer with a big barley taste and very little hops.  Is this an English Ale?  I thought I would make it myself.  Mrs Booze knows of a pet store that sells big bags of barley for horsies.  I could malt that and brew it.

I've also been working on a spiced wine recipe.  I've found quite a few recipies call for raisins, aka zombie grapes, and I'm not sure why.  I tried to imaging the flavor a raisin would impart to a wine versus a grape.  I haven't eaten a raisin in at least 15 years.  So I bought a box.  Ahhh, the flavor's coming back to me now.

At first it wasn't so good, but then the flavors lingered in my mouth and I came upon an idea.  Maybe a bad one.  Make a mash of raisins and oats.  Ferment.

The problem is that the starches in the oats need to be broken down into sugars for the yeast to be able to feast.  Since they are cut oats they cannot be malted.  So then what?  Well the raisins would provide the sugar.  The oats would provide flavor, but too much starch might spoil things.

The recipe, for now, is:

2 cups of oats
2 cups raisins
1/2 cup of sugar
a pinch of cinammon
a dash of cloves

It might be necessary to add some malted barley to this recipe so that the starches in the oats don't make a soupy unfermentable mess.  The crazy person in my head says things like "why don't you just spit in the mash.  The salivary amylase in your spit will do the trick."  Hey that sounds like a fairly simple solution.  Ok, time for my meds...

Once Mrs Booze racks her wine I will start the fermentation and we will see how good or bad this recipe is.  This seems like a great thing to drink on a chilly December evening, and I will let you know.

Pineapple coconut wine

I racked the pineapple coconut wine to secondary fermentation.  The coconut oil congealed into a thick layer at the top.  I left that in with the slurry.  I tasted the juice and it was a bit oily and a bit dry but good.  I added a little more sugar and some corn sugar that the yeast will not ferment for additional sweetness.  It will be good but will probably only yield 2 liters.  Maybe less.  The new batch was good and clear of Sulfur Dioxide.

I also tasted the orange juice/orange pineapple juice mixture.  It was bad.  The previous batch was probably contaminated because the old slurry produced more SO2.  Even after the SO2 aired out the taste was bitter.  There was no sugar left, and oranges without sweetness is a bitter drink.  So I dumped it.

So now Mrs. Booze is making wine and I am clearing out another jug of Carlo Rossi.  Can you believe it is 12 dollars?  It used to be 7 or 8.  Oh well.  What sort of wine should I make next?  After all, everything can ferment.

Wine Odyssey

At the grocery store I wonder "will this ferment" and "will this taste any good".  Can you ferment bacon?  Can you ferment pizza rolls?  Wouldn't bacon wine be the best thing ever?

Since the tropical theme is going strong, I wondered aloud "can you ferment that coconut juice in the can from the 'ethnic food' isle?"  Mrs Booze says "yeah, of course" and then suggests I make pina colada wine and grabs some pineapple juice concentrate for me.

With this batch I will take every precaution to sterilize most thoroughly every particle.  I will do my utmost to keep it cool in case it gets to 95 degrees again.  And I will buy some white wine (champagne) yeast for this project.  I hope to have a report on the progress in a few weeks or less.  I hope to not have any sulfur smell or sour tastes that need airing out.  Cheers.

Mango wine conclusion and epilogue

I couldn't wait any longer.  I am thirsty.  Time to see if the mango wine is spoiled or successful.  I cracked it open.  It fizzed and is bubbly as soda pop.  I am amazed by this bit of magic and will probably be amazed for a while.  The nose was a bit sour.  The same sort of sour that my first batch of pruno had.  The taste is ok.  It has the mango flavor.  The apples came out really strong.  It is a bit too dry.  Maybe next time I will actually measure the sugar?  Hey, before you sass me my grandmother never measured the sugar when she baked lasagne and it tasted great.  Measuring isn't how it's done.

So was it contaminated?  Possibly.  It is just a hint of sour, lingering in the back, probably coming in from the nose.  There is some acid from the apples, and of course the mango notes that dance on the back of your tongue.  As it aired out and "breathed" the sourness dissipated a bit.  Still a bit too dry and acidic for what I hoped to achieve.  The fact that it wasn't too sour and it seemed to air out suggests that it might have been from the heat, but I can't say for sure.  Maybe I've just drank too much rotgut wine to really tell?

I will admit that this mango juice wasn't the best mango juice I've ever had.  It was a blend, and I recall mangos were second on the list of ingredients behind apples.  Again I probably should have used the white wine yeast.  Oh well; I learned a lot from these experiments as I look to make the best tasting and cheapest pruno possible.  Contamination can add sour notes to the hooch and one should take as much care as possible to sterilize every piece of equipment.  Also brewing is affected by the heat, and you should either avoid brewing when it is 95 degrees or find some way to mitigate the heat like pack it in and icewater bucket or move the project to the storage locker in the basement.  I think the flavors would have mellowed if I would have let it sit longer, but time is not on my side.

If you can do me a favor, please steal all the sugar packets you can from restaurants and the like and mail them to me.  Thanks.

Mango wine status update

The mango wine started to smell of sulfur.  There are 3 possible explanations:

1.  Contamination.  I did not disinfect the airlock tubing, and the batch was possibly contaminated this way.
2.  The heat.  It has been hot and the high heat may have thrown off the fermentation.
3.  The yeast.  The wine yeast I bought, Red Star Montrachet, reputedly releases a sulfur smell.

Thus far I have tried to keep the brew cool with those freezer packs you put on your head.  The smell diminished.  I have also racked the wine into a new vessel, recharged it with more sugar, and sealed the cap so that it will naturally carbonate.  Now I really regret not going with champaigne yeast.

Additionally I recharged the old vessel with more sugar, frozen orange juice and orange juice pineapple concentrate, and more water.  It is again fermenting.  Because I was able to reuse the yeast, the costs are much lower than I previously thought.  I can either calculate that this batch costs a dollar less or that both batches cost fifty cents less.  Someone call my accountant.

Mango wine

The problem with wine is that it is made from grapes.  Grapes are ok, but not my favorite fruit.  So why grapes then?  Why not wine out of whatever fruit you wish?  How will it taste?  Wine flavors represent the grapes that spawned them; I image the flavors of wines made from other fruits to represent those original flavors well.  Wouldn't coconut or mango wine be great?  I mean if plum wine is a delightful but rare taste of Asia, why not the flavors of the tropics?

So I went to the grocery store and bought some mango juice.  It has some other juices, I think apple.  Whatever.  I will try fermenting that and will comment in a week or two when I have some wine.  I even shelled out a buck for wine yeast to eliminate the sour flavor of the first batch of pruno.

Cheers.

Marching on towards spring

The weather has the sort of pall that comes with early spring.  It is, I suppose, March.  It is time to break out the 35mm lens and watch Donnie Darko and drink Canadian whisky.  Speaking of which, the reviews for Canadian Club seem good and it is very cheap and I am very broke these days.  So you should hopefully get a review soon.

In the mean time here is a small review for Bolla Chianti.  It is cheap - around 6 bucks - and good.  Goes well with spaghetti and meatballs and watching the Jersey Shore and fist pumping.  Pictures to come later.

Wine and Taco Bell, first try

Burritos and Black Swan Shiraz. Verdict? Fail. The Shiraz was too bitter for the sweet, sweet taste of burritos. You definitely need a sweet wine to go with Taco Bell.

Wine and fine dining

Recently I posted the following question to my friends: what wine goes best with Taco Bell?

The answers were as follows:

-box wine
-Boonesfarm
-Old Lady white zin + fiber pills
-Calcu 2006 blend

I haven't given it a try, but I plan to soon and I'll definitely put a fine dining food and wine review up here when I do.

You'd think, with all the wines out there and all the stupid descriptions of their taste and what food should be eaten alongside, that there would be some food reviews with helpful suggestions for Taco Bell wines. Surprisingly, there is very little. I was able to find one good review and that's it.

It's enough to make you think that wine drinkers are a bunch of foul food snobs. Some people look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them I enjoy a good cheap Merlot to go with my pizza. Wine is cheap people. Less than ten bucks a bottle? Your dollar for alcohol ratio is comparable with Schlitz.

Field notes: the fruit of the vine

It came as news to me that one could distill vodka from grapes. But that's exactly what the folks at St. Julian winery have done. Now normally when you tell me you distilled a spirit from wine you're telling me you made brandy. But this raw, unaged brandy is being sold as "vodka". Don't ask me how it tastes, I didn't have time to stop in. I just spotted the billboard.

I'm curious as to the brandy though. Aged 2 years in Hungarian oak and 2 years in French oak. I might have some field research ahead of me.

A new link

Check out the new linky for cheapwinereviews.com. This is the sort of resource we need. In honor of this I bought a cheap wine and will drink it and review it here.

Booze army heroes

There are many booze army soldiers around the globe. Today, let's check in with Continental Europe. Here is a wine ninja, or perhaps a wine MacGuyver, demonstrating some resourcefulness that would make Mr. Wizard proud.



This is a lesson I won't forget!

Changing seasons

This summer was supposed to be a summer of wine. I imagined I would drink a steady quantity of red wine instead of the whiskey punch that got me through half of winter and spring. That was partially true. I did continue with punch, and I stopped with wine about a month or so ago. The last jug of Paisano skunked into vinegar prematurely and I haven't gotten wine since. I tried for rum, but it didn't work out that way. I thought about going Bourbon, but I didn't want to gamble. My one foray into American whiskey - Kessler - was a bust.

Now normally I don't drink beer. It has about double the calories of whiskey. It has sugar and carbs, and whiskey does not. It will make you fat. After all, they don't call it a whiskey gut do they?

However, it has been a chilly August. It is already getting cold at night. School is starting next week and the shadows are getting longer. Autumn is fast approaching, and one thing I like in chilly months is a good Pilzner and some hot soft pretzels. I have a feeling that if the weather continues to chill, I'll have to truck up to the store for some good pilzner (New Glarus Edel Pilz is a winner in my book) and a box of super pretzels.