Orange Creamsicle

I have a dog and when it gets hot I soak a bandana and tie it around his neck.  It is an old dog trick.  This summer is taking shape as the grasp of winter slackens and spring begins anew.  Spring is either cold and grey or hot and bright.  And old man booze is ready for hot and bright.  I am already soaking my bandana of delight in a well of intoxication in preparation for the heat of the summer to come.

I have already prepared a theme for this summer.  Orange Creamsicle.  The color orange will be the color of 2013.



Yes.  Come join me on a journey of intoxication from various substances that will result in tremens delirium.  We may even leave this earthly realm and have an odyssey of epic proportion with the help of some wonderful alkaloids.  If you put up with my music the drinks are on me.  My treat.

What are your plans for summer?  Summer requires planning, really.  You need to set the mood.  The theme.  The feeling.  The soundtrack will fall into place and everything just might go right.


Have you decided what booze and drugs to stockpile for the long hot summer sure to come?



Somehow right now the dream of summer feels like a fevered hallucination brought on by too much benedryl.

Some people don't like the heat.  I understand not liking the heat once it crosses 90.  That shit's unbearable.  Otherwise I don't mind it and I don't really understand the animosity.  People seem to have an aversion to feeling like they are alive.  They don't want to be too hot that they sweat or too cold that they need to wear long pants.  They seem to want a boring stasis of stale 70 degree grey.  But the bright sun is mercilessly hot.  And feeling that bead of sweat trickle down the side of your face is what it feels like to be alive in the summertime.  Doesn't anyone like feeling alive anymore?  Has the whole world gone crazy?


So what are your plans for the summer?  Have you picked a theme yet?  Don't wait too long because it will be hot before you know it.  Unless you live in San Francisco in which case it will not be hot and you will be wearing a hoodie in July and I will feel sorry for you.

The Summer of George: Solstice edition

Well, we are halfway through the sunny season, and I have insomnia pretty bad. Go to sleep at 1 am on Friday night, wake up Saturday morning at 6 am. It happened last week and this. Luckily I have been able to nap, but you know that really takes a cramp out of my weekend plans. Why can't I sleep on Friday night? The good news is that I have an app that really helps me sleep. I know I know, that sounds like silly shit. It is the sound of crickets in the night. I used it last night and I was out like a light. All praise the godmachine.

Aside from insomnia, I had plans for this summer. I wanted it to have a theme, much like the Summer of George. However, I did learn my lesson from Costanza, which is don't try to plan too much. I know me. So what was the theme? Well, I decided to let that grow naturally. Maybe I'd have a Gran Torino summer, and I'd sit on the balcony drinking cheap bourbon and PBR. I'd wear old slacks and a belt, and tuck my shirt in. It would be a collar shirt. Probably lots of Sinatra or Glenn Miller. Or maybe I'd have a surreal summer, and I listen to a lot of weird Gregorian Chants and death metal and get sucked into the Dreamland. Maybe it would be a revival summer, where I indulge in nostalgia of the 90s and listen to KMFDM and Fear Factory. Or a pirate summer, and I will dress real casual and drink lots of rum. Or maybe...

Well, I don't know what sort of summer this is. I don't think I'm grampa, dressing like an old man and sitting on the porch drinking cold ones. Though I did just clean the balcony. I've been going to club technochocolate down the street, but my 90s nostalgia has waned. No chants, and nothing surreal. The only pirate thing I did was drink some nice Rhum and watch Master and Commander. I really don't know. How is summer going for you?