If this were the 80s, TV would be much better. Instead of endless iterations of Law and Order or CSI, we would be watching Jumanji the TV series. Wait, that happened? Jumanji the cartoon? Okay okay, then it would be Mall Cop the TV series. Don't believe me? Do you remember Ferris Bueller the TV series? Because I do. It went head to head with Parker Lewis Can't Lose.
Notice the Sisters of Mercy poster there? Sweet!
Suck on that, Ferris Bueller!