Summer Swag

Samhain belt.  Its an alliteration.  Get it?

Want!

Glenn Danzig does youtube poop just right

Sometimes in this crazy mixed up world there are few things on which we rely.  Luckily we can still rely on Danzig to make solid music with tacky videos involving strippers.





Danzig abides!

Also here is to hoping for more albums from Danzig in the vein of the last one.  Though maybe on the next one he will let his grey hair come out and sing some stripped down metal ballads about growing old and bitter.  Sigh...

Life Cycles

I know you've seen the lulz from the Onion about the Goth and the Metalhead overcoming differences:

"But at the end of the night, when I reached out to take Rick's hand, I noticed that his fingernails were painted black," Richardson added. "I told him how sexy it was, and he told me he got the idea from a Danzig video. That was the first time I realized we had something deep and eternal in common."

Sometimes I wish I could see into the Onion's hivemind.  It is like they know me too well.  Maybe they know you too well too?



Plus



equals



???

Workout playlist

Seems like everyone in the blogosphere is working on their GTL and sharing their workout playlists.  Sounds like a good excuse for me to recycle an old post.  So sit back and enjoy copy and paste:

Step one is queue up some workout jams.  Lately it is 33rpm Metallica, Danzig II and III, and Pantera's Vulgar Display of Power.  That is pretty much as good as it gets.

So yeah.  I like the way Chuck Biscuits plays a strong downbeat.  It is a good rhythm for me to lift weights.  Not too fast or too slow and the downbeat helps me focus on the reps.



If everything's put together and you feel great and you look great then its awesome.



Word

Remember that you are a product that you are trying to sell to people every day of your life every time you interact with someone face to face.  So you need to look your best in order to successfully market yourself to others.  Go to the gym, fattie.  Go tanning, you look sick.  And for God's sake smell good.  Chew some spearmint for fuck's sake you smell like cheap vodka.



GTS. Gym tan spearmint you fucking wino.

Glenn Danzig in retrospect

It is difficult to really sum up the career of Glenn Danzig.  As a primer I recommend reading this essay.  Money quote:

"There are two dominant cultural narratives of Danzig; the first is of the dumb rocker guy who sang “Mother,” a song that now resonates at sporting events coast-to-coast. The other, amongst those who care about such things, is that of the Punker Who Fell from Grace; the dude who wrote all of the Misfits’ music, invented at least two sub-genres and was the backbone of one of the most influential bands of the last 30 years (and now, given the prevalence of AFI and My Chemical Romance, might we not argue that Samhain has become as influential, if not more so, as the Misfits?) and then threw it all away to disappear in a haze of testosterone and strippers dressed like cats."

Think about it like this; there are very few bands out there that continually draw a new batch of teenage fans every year.  The Misfits is one of them.  Also, how many people can claim to have written songs for Johnny Cash and Roy Orbison?  Danzig is one of them.  Danzig is an artist whose influence casts a wide net.  And yet Danzig is also the man that decided, in his 30s, to grow his facial hair to resemble that of a comic book character whose catch phrase is "bub".



It is kinda strange to think about it, but do the math here. Danzig was born in 1955, so if this was an early 90s classic video then Glenn would be in his mid 30s.  And reading comic books and growing comic book facial hair.

In a way you can say that he was far ahead of his time, because back then comic books weren't the trendy high brow affair that they are today.  They were made into Saturday morning cartoons not blockbuster movies, and certainly not the subject of highbrow hipster essays on culture.  Yes, that really is an award winning 14 page essay on comic books.  Or you can say that he was a 35 year old man-child that never matured into an adult, instead indulging in every pre-pubescent fantasy from martial arts to women.





I'm not sure what he was going for in this video?  What do you think?

I guess it's hard to say which is true.  Maybe both?  After all, what's the difference between being eccentric and being ahead of the times?  And if society didn't make men wear suits and sit in cubicle farms, wouldn't you spend all day lifting weights and growing crazy facial hair?

For me Danzig's music is cyclical.  The Misfits were great but I have a hard time getting into Samhain.  Danzig 2 and 3 are awesome but I have a hard time appreciating the later Trent Reznor inspired stuff.



I mean really?  The whole song screams "the beautiful people".  I guess it's not bad but one of Danzig's charms was the retro vibe.  Before there were "vintage thrifters" Danzig was giving you something that felt older and odder.  But maybe this will grow on me as my 90s nostalgia grows.  Man I miss those times...

What was I talking about again?  Oh right, strippers.  So anyways Danzig has a new album out, and he made a video promo for it.



So I don't think I'll be lifting weights to this. But I noticed that Danzig wears a shirt the whole time. I mean I guess he's 55, and looks pretty good for being mid-fifties. He still has the strippers in his videos too. But it makes me feel sad to see the eternal man-child seemingly grown old. I think if Danzig is going to start wearing shirts and putting the claws away he should just go all grizzled old man. Let the greys show and cut the pretenses in the songs. I mean for as much as he talked about going retro on the production of this album it still sounds overproduced to me. I know he isn't working with Rick Rubin anymore but this song would have been much better in a more stripped down and raw way that Rick is famous for.

So that's Danzig for you. The man has accomplished more in his lifetime of music than most people. Just writing songs for Johnny Cash and Roy Orbison usually gets you some sort of rock and roll medal. Add in Mother and he's already legend. Then the Misfits, Samhain, and all the great Danzig solo albums and forget about it. And he can say that he did it his way every step of the way. Again that is quite an accomplishment. Even if I don't enjoy everything he's written (who does?) I enjoy quite a lot so he should take this as a compliment if his jitterbug ever gets a web browser.

Life lessons learned the hard way

Many years ago I worked out at the gym.  I used a lot of exercise machines.  In hindsight I don't know why. I guess machines = superior.  I guess you can't blame me, after all I was raised on the 6 million dollar man.  I have since learned that machines are inferior to free weights.  Maybe that was the lesson from Rocky 4?  Well I learned this lesson from the Marlboro man.  Watch and learn.





So here is how Mr. Booze stays in drinking condition.

Step one is queue up some workout jams.  Lately it is 33rpm Metallica, Danzig II and III, and Pantera's Vulgar Display of Power.  That is pretty much as good as it gets.  Then it is all free weight exercises.  A 40 pound starter barbell set is pretty cheap at the sporting goods store.  And keep your eyes peeled for deals on Craigslist.  My weights are discs that are easy to store in my tiny apartment.

After a good workout I find it is important to have a glass of whiskey.  The alcohol opens the blood vessels which helps remove any lactic acid buildup*.  I also like the Lebowski ritual to help reduce stiffness and soreness.

So since this is the internet this is a safe place to share, right?  Ok, I'll share this with you.  I sometimes grab the wife's bathsalts and put them in a hot bath.  I find it also helps reduce stiffness and soreness the next day.  Don't tell nobody, alright?

In the 4 or 5 months I've been using this routine I've gotten more results than when I went to the gym and used exercise machines for weight training for 3 years.



File photo of Mr. Booze after a few months of lifting weights

Here are two of my favorite weightlifting tracks.  Since I started lifting again I've become a born again fan of the classic Danzig solo albums, especially Lucifuge and How the Gods Kill.  I could write an essay about how great those albums are, and really about the whole Glenn Danzig body of work (the Misfits will be awesome forever), but that's another time. 

Anyways, workout jams recommendations are appreciated! 



Good downbeat HERE (no embed WTF?)

*I am not a licensed medical practitioner so don't interpret this as medical advice.  Always consult with a physician or licensed medical practitioner before engaging in any physical activity, consuming alcohol, or any combination thereof

In praise of Glenn Danzig

Danzig's shopping list



Danzig's shopping list by my favorite people on the internet



Icing on the cake



It makes my soul hurt!

Time is running short

Everyone loves the collaboration between Johnny Cash and Rick Rubin. It was amazing seeing Johnny Cash stripped down to a raw sound more like his Sun Records roots, and also hearing him play contemporary songs. I first heard of the American Records project when American II: Unchained came out and he covered Rusty Cage.



At the time Soundgarden was still riding high (I dislike everything after Badmotorfinger but I still love that and the prior stuff). I later discovered he had played a song written by one Glenn Danzig which was even more mindblowing.



It wasn't until much later that I discovered that one Glenn Danzig wrote a song for Roy Orbison



In another life, having written songs for Johnny Cash and Roy Orbison gets you some sort of medal. Danzig gets a stack of bricks. Where is the justice?

After Johnny died, Rick looked around for the next Johnny and produced Neil Diamond. Now I am going to say this delicately. Neil Diamond has never had success as a stripped down artist like Johnny Cash had. Even his early hits like Girl You'll be a Woman Soon were smooth productions, not simple and raw like old Sun Records.



No offense, but I think Rick was trying to get this magic with half the production, and it didn't spin the same magic. He must know this, after all he helped Johnny re-record Solitary Man without the horns.



Unfulfilling?



Fucking horns



No horns for a more Sun Records sound. But notice that Tom Petty sings backup and there is a rich layer despite the sparse veneer. It is powerful not because of the production but because of Johnny's delivery.

So what is my point. My point is that if you are looking for a commonality here it is this: if Rick Rubin was looking for another singer to revive it wasn't Neil Diamond. It was Jerry Lee Lewis.



Simple, raw, and powerful. Notice the bass isn't plugged in.



Descending from Rock and Roll/Rockabilly cool to sappy country lame. Its alright, they all did this (even Johnny). Although a song about Schlitz beer is awesome in my book. I don't know if you losers can get this; but my bar carries the stuff in a bottle. Classic 1960s formula!

So yeah, if Rick Rubin wanted to produce another elderly Rock and Roll legend from the Sun Records roster, Jerry Lee Lewis is still alive and kicking. He too was an outlaw and a rebel. He too worked well in a stripped down raw production.

The final piece to tie it together? Have Glenn Danzig write a song for Jerry Lee Lewis. It only got better as time went on. Life Fades Away was nice and all, but didn't make a splash. 13 was on the now legendary American I. Just think about Jerry Lee playing a Danzig song on his American I...



Pull out the terrible Motown horns and bass, and you have an American Original Wild One.

Update - the mean old man playing live in 2008. Come on Rick, time is running short.

The Bourbon Road

I thought I wanted some Canadian whisky for Saturday kickoff. I can get a fifth of Black Velvet 8 year old for about 10 dollars. Try getting an 8 year old Scottish whisky for that price. Good luck. Or Irish or Bourbon. The Canadian whiskies I've tried have been smooth, but not much flavor. Would 4 more years in the barrel make it more flavorful?

Maybe I'll have bourbon instead. I can't say I recall the last time I drank bourbon. Maybe in Kentucky? I wasn't sipping it on ice or anything, to be sure. I think I took a slug of Maker's Mark straight from the bottle and thought it was pretty good for straight from the bottle. I know I had Jim Beam with my uncles and thought it was meh mixing whiskey, but way to expensive for what it is. I'd rather have Old Overholt for almost half the price.

So I've been reading reviews on the internet, trying to find a good cheap bourbon. Emphasis on the cheap. My options are:

Rebel Yell
Old Grand-dad
Ezra Brooks
Old Crow
Ancient Age
Ten High
Old Fitzgerald
Evan Williams
Early Times

Here's my problem: In the aggregate, every review reads the same. Caramel sweetness, vanilla and toffee notes, some oaky woodyness, finishing with some mild spicyness and an overall citrus flavor in the oily mouthcoating. Seriously, some amalgamation of that is in every review for every one of these brands.

Here's my other problem: take any of those brands and put it into google with "worst bourbon", and they all will show up with someone saying it is fit only for cleaning their battery contacts. Now put it into google with "best value bourbon" and someone will be singing its praises, fit for kings.

I almost went with Evan Williams based solely on one review:

100 proof. Bottled in bond. Directly from the bottle it is initially hot. It tears a path up the sides and back of your throat and makes you salivate from the jaws slightly before blooming large in your upper chest. Behind is scorched sugar and some terrible feeling of apprehension and flashes of a girl with cigarette breath and a small black lace bra in the back seat of a primered Plymouth with an exhaust leak. I like it.

I suddenly saw myself driving a black Plymouth Barracuda through the desert, an eight ball for a clutch, a bottle of Evan Williams in my hand, and Betty Page riding shotgun while listening to Danzig's 13 over and over and over...



Yeah, maybe I'm starting to lose it.

Story time; I once bought a bottle of Fundador because Hemingway mentioned it repeatedly in The Sun Also Rises. It was not smooth. It had that strong smell of rubbing alcohol and the taste had hints of kerosene. Worst of all it was about 22 dollars. For around 10 I can get Stock 84 and it is smooth with no hints of disinfectant. But I digress. I like my whiskeys sweet rather than dry. If I can get those vanilla and caramel notes they always talk about in a smooth whiskey for less than 15 dollars I will be a happy man.

I think I might compromise and get that Black Velvet because I'm sure it will be at least smooth if nothing else, and roll the dice on a random bottle of bourbon. All told I'll get two bottles of whiskey, and maybe even two good ones, for about 24 dollars.

Wish me luck!

Road trip

I have been itching to get to California since the great Michigan exodus began sometime in 2003. Well now I've found the perfect excuse to visit. Not to see friends out there. Not to see the Rose Bowl. No, I should go to see Danzig's House.



All overgrown...and with a big stack of bricks in the front yard. Though I've read that, sadly, the bricks are gone.

Supplemental reading: an interesting cultural critique of Danzig.