The flower of my youth is wilting. Father time is sweeping my leg. Not to worry, I have foreseen this day for a long time coming. There is a secret to aging. You must envision and embrace your future self to become him. This is something Elvis and Michael Jackson refused to learn. Look what happened to them.
This could be you!
There are several roads you can take on life. Will you be a fat old man or a skinny old man? I am gunning for skinny old man. Thus I have cut back on beer and upped my whiskey intake. You don't see old men who've spent a lifetime drinking whiskey on the rocks with fat bellies.
This is what a lifetime of drinking Jack Daniels looks like. Not bad.
Some people try to cover up their gray hair. Why? Don't you love the grizzled old Willie Nelson far better than the young hippie Willie Nelson?
I think I could take old metal artists like Dave Mustaine seriously if they let their grays show and started to write bitter old man songs. Something like this:
I'm not going to even post Hurt. Few men have the guts to age so wonderfully. I can only hope to become so gnarled and grizzled.
So what is my vision like? Simple. I will be the old curmudgeon with a cane and a hat, eating at Denny's and leaving a handful of pennies for a tip. I'll tell you about what it was like back in my day. I will be mystified at all the new technology and listen to weird old music from before you were born that you've never heard. I will wear a tie for no good reason. I will call my daily shot of whiskey my "medicine". I will make air quotation marks with my fingers before using any slang words. And I will tell meandering stories like this:
Good Lord it will be amazing.