It has recently been brought to my attention that kids these days are really into pants. No really. Pants. The height of their teenage aspirations is apparently owning stylish jeans.
Now maybe you think Chesty LaRue is off base here and the kids aren't really into owning pants.
Nope. Kids are really into owning pants. There are two things to note here. First is that kids these days are a sorry bunch of losers. Back in my day teenagers dreamed of sex, smoking weed, drinking a gin and orange juice cocktail, and skipping school. These days their fantasies are owning stylish pants? Back in my day people wore raver pants but you never heard us making songs about it.
Second, I guess the kids these day must have it real rough if this is the height of their aspirations. These aren't teenage dreams, these are third world dreams. We just want some pants.
Skinny jeans dreams LOLZ
Back in my day not only could even poor white trash afford stylish pants, but our stylish pants were made of generous material proportions, to display our excessive wealth.
You see? We could not only afford all this superfluous material for our pants but also glow in the dark decals. The kids these days?
These losers can't even afford jeans with extra denim. And pointless pockets, zippers, and chains? Forget it.