From my childhood 2: talking cars

When I was a child, cars could talk. Sure, you might pretend that you remember watching Knight Rider. I do remember, and not understand the intro story at all. "This is a story of a man that doesn't exist"? What does that mean?

But more than that, real cars talked as well. My uncle worked for Chrysler, and he had a car that talked. When you left the doors open, the car would say "the door is ajar". It had a few other catch phrases too.

For some reason talking cars didn't catch on. Oh well. But that's how it was, kids. Back in my day, cars talked.



Oh, did I mention that back in my day cars could travel through time?

The Wait

I'm in limbo. I'm waiting. My roommate moves out in about 3 weeks. It can't come soon enough. I'm waiting for Apple to release the new iPhone so I can finally become a god among men, with the sum of all human knowledge at my fingertips. That is probably about 2 months away. I'm always waiting on the job front. Things are really slow at the office, and I've taken to reading wikipedia online. I'll probably be let go soon. In the mean time, I have a potential job lead. It will probably be a longer commute, sadly. I was getting used to the easy drive.



Life is blooming all around.



The skies are blue and clear. I've finally gotten the hang of nailing that clear blue sky look too.



Like this fern, I am stretching out. I am unfurled.

I hope you are enjoying spring as much as I am. Sorry I didn't take any pictures of my brown bag and Boonesfarm from the other day. I'll probably have a rum summer, so we'll see how that goes.

Kitesuccess!

Strong winds, clear skies, and kites. The box kite flew well. I sat up on a hill, layed in the grass, drank Boonesfarm, and watched the kite glide lazily through the sky.



Up and away.



The skies clouded up and I biked home, still slightly drunk. I felt a bit like a hobo. But then I threw my empty bottle in a trashbin, and saw what it is that separates me from the degenerates. I know how to use a trashcan and a restroom.





My moment of zen.

Kitefail!

Is drinking whiskey the only thing in which I excel? I tried to make a kite Friday out of everyday household items and it got flayed in the wind and the bushes. So in my zeal I opened up the wallet and bought two kites, a classic box kite and a cheap butterfly kite. Today I had a chance to fly the new kites. The butterfly kite went up, and then nosedived. Over and over again. The box kite went up and then gently descended to the earth repeatedly. Neither would fucking fly damnit.

I've been waiting for reasonably nice weather for the last 3 or 4 days. The wind wasn't strong, but decent gusts went through. I just wanted some goddamn zen watching my fabric fly up to the clouds. I was so fucking pissed! This is not zen. Hulk smash! Fuck this shit. Maybe kite flying is not for me? I mean there are only about 10 days a year when it is warm and sunny with strong breezes, and I am stuck at work 9 of them. I've been waiting for warm weather for so long and then I have to wait for warm and sunny and strong winds? This is never going to happen.



At least I'm still good at drinking you!

20/20 is still good

MD 20/20 is sometimes looked on as "greasy kid's stuff", the sort of hooch you might have drunk in high school basements when parents were away or at a houseparty in college. I'm getting on in years, but 20/20 is still good. Despite me being old and pickled, a bottle of 20/20 can still pack a punch. I enjoy the numb feeling it instills. I know you might ask "why not just drink real wine"? Well, there is a good reason for that. Real wine has a cork, and that means you either drink it all or waste some of it. How about that screwcap? Sometimes I want to put it away for a bit and pick it up later. Yeah baby, yeah. Also, 20/20 is part of my post interview ritual. It really takes the edge off.

Let's go fly a kite

I haven't flown a kite since I was about 6 years old. I have some really hazy memories of the experience. I remember running myself ragged trying to get liftoff on a still afternoon, hoping it would get high enough to reach upper air currently and stay aloft.

I think I mentioned before that I'm planning on flying kites this summer. Friday was warm and sunny, clear and breezy, so I tried making a kite and flying it. I used wire from a hangar from the dry cleaners. I used a plastic garbage bag. I used some thread and some ribbon. I used a hot glue gun to attach things. It almost worked. I tested from my balcony, but it had stability problems. It almost took off. It ended up tangled in the balcony railing and dying.

Dawn tried her hand too, but hers might not have had enough lift. It wasn't stable either, and would swirl in the air and crash into the ground. They both ended up a shredded mess. We saved the metal parts for later, or perhaps never.

Impatiently, I bought a kite at the hobby store. Overpriced, it was. It was an impulse buy. Dawn pressures me on those things. "Just get it". She sighs exasperatedly when I hem and haw about the price of things.

The rest of the weekend was rain. Then I went to the library and checked out a book on kites. I probably should have started there rather than the internets and a store. Good old library.

So step one has been painfully realized. While I read on kites, I at least have one ready to assemble. Now all I need is a clear and sunny, warm and breezy afternoon. That will probably come next week: April showers bring May flowers.

Everytime I don't have a camera

Everytime I don't have a camera, I see something awesome. Today I was at the mall buying pants and I saw a man that looked exactly like a morbidly obese James Hetfield. But the mall is a weird place anyways, filled with weird people.

For example, there is a new contraption in the mall that looks like a giant metal slingshot. It has two bungee cords that descend from each tong, and they hold up a harness. For 6 dollars you can get in the harness, stand on a trampoline, and jump up and do flips. I don't know how long you get for 6 dollars, but I can't imagine it is very much.

Oh, I also bought some socks.