2011 predictions: Barokepunk

What will be big in 2011? The answer is Barokepunk. Behold!

Artist's rendition of a young Barokepunk in full regalia

What is Barokepunk? An offshoot of Steampunk that I invented and hope to profit therein. At this point you might be old and have a jitterbug and wondering what Steampunk is. Well I'll tell you. Steampunk is an arts and crafts decorative movement. It focuses on taking Victorian aesthetics and combining them with modern sensibilities, and lots of gears and goggles. Think Martha Stewart with a hard on for brass.



Hey baby, do you know what time it is? Lolz!



Is that guy on the right Steven Spielberg?



WTF?



Boobies...

Now you might be wondering what is punk about steampunk. Nothing really, why do you ask?

Steampunk is big business, and all the fashion designers are starting to take notice. Just look what happens when New York finds out about what nerds in Peoria are doing in mom's basement:



Do you think this will sell well to the urban market?



This photoshoot cost more than an XBox 360 and Gears of War, I guarantee you.

I think some of the charm of steampunk is stripped away when these sorts of people take it and make it into a production. Remember, nerds in mom's basement started this.



If Steampunk is merely an arts and crafts decorative movement focused on Victoriana, why not another era? I guess there is already a 1930s-40s version of this called Dieselpunk. So much for my Decopunk idea (or is it Dekopunk?). But there is no Barokepunk. Until now. Behold...



Yup.


Replace Victorian with Baroque and presto, Barokepunk

This stuff writes itself, really. Hey, like anything these days a fashion statement has to become a lifestyle. Because only nerds living in mom's basement dress in steampunk fashion, it is a "subculture". And any lifestyle choice has to have its own music. Steampunk music was invented to cater to the fashion tastes of some socially awkward people, so Barokepunk will necessarily have to have music as well. Good news, it is already here. I give you the godfather of Barokepunk: Mister Yngwie Malmsteen!



Awe yeah!

Now maybe you think I am being too critical of Steampunk, or am exploiting the creativity of some people. But really, I'm just stating the obvious. I mean do you think these guys like role playing games and got picked on in high school?



Wait, is that Diedrich Bader from Office Space?



WTF? All you white people look the same!

10 to 1 they were not class president or captain of the football team. And if New York fashionistas can exploit the creativity of steampunk why can't I? By the way any and all use of Barokepunk is the intellectual property of Mister Booze. I am open to negotiating royalties for the use of Barokepunk, but remember I don't like Scotch whisky.

Finally, why weren't nerds this hot when I was in high school?



WTF? Why aren't you dressed like this?



Mind = Blown!

Wrap it up

This time of year can be stressful. Christmas was a holiday invented by Satan to lure man into worshiping the mall, which is a really stressful place. I feel your pain. I have been working a lot and trying to faithfully execute all my yuletide obligations.



File photo of Mr. Booze working late on Christmas eve.

So I hope you take a little time for yourself today to pour a glass and enjoy this time of year. The darkest days are behind us. It only gets brighter.

Stay warm

Well, it’s happening again. I blog it, everyone buys it. Remember when I told you to get a bridgecoat:

I almost got a Navy bridgecoat, but they aren't quite long enough. Close, oh so close, and cheap. Plus those have epaulets, which are awesome.

This was about 2 years ago. Well, the fashionistas have taken note. I saw this in the store today:

You see! They even called it a "Captain's coat". The least they could do was give me a free coat and a bottle of whiskey.

Also, about a year after my original coat someone posted a link to this gem:

It is only 59 dollars, so please buy me one for Christmas. Thank you.

Everything is terrible

Life is futile. Unemployment for people without a college degree is sky high. So go to college? Not so fast my friend. New grads are jobless and buried under debt.

Over the past year, for example, the unemployment rate for college grads under age 25 has averaged 9.2 percent, up from 8.8 percent a year earlier and 5.8 percent in the first year of the recession that began in December 2007. That means recent grads have about the same level of unemployment as the general population. It also suggests that many employed recent grads may be doing work that doesn’t require a college degree.

Maybe go back to school for a graduate degree? Maybe go to law school...what else can you do with an English degree?

The monetary rewards of pursuing a law career aren't what they once were. What, an observer could wonder, became of those rare $120,000 associates' starting salaries discussed during boom times?

"They don't really exist now," White said. "The average starting salary for law students has gone down dramatically. There are fewer starting jobs in the six figures and more in the five-figure range."

Some new law graduates may be looking at starting salaries as low as the $40,000s, White said.

And those getting any job are probably the lucky ones.

So America is ruined. I guess we should be more like the Chinese then?

Between 2003 and 2009, the average starting salary for migrant laborers grew by nearly 80 percent; during the same period, starting pay for college graduates stayed the same, although their wages actually decreased if inflation is taken into account.

What to do? I have three recommendations:

And



And

Sunny Brook bourbon redux

Remember when I found a bottle of Sunny Brook bourbon from the mid 80s? Well here is a related anecdote about a bottle of Sunny Brook from the 40s.

The day after Pearl Harbor, Gerald Baden's father, Hank, went out and bought the bottle of 86-proof whiskey and brought it to his Pure Oil service station in downtown St. Paul.




The verdict?

Old Sunny Brook, the Pearl Harbor Day bottle of straight bourbon whiskey bottled in Louisville, Ky., "was the old standby," he said. "It was pretty good whiskey."

Pretty good indeed.

Swing and a miss

Saturday I drove into Detroit. Not Greater Detroit Metropolitan Area. Detroit, Detroit. It was a special occasion, and owing to circumstances out of my control I did not have my camera with me. Sometimes I wonder if some social occasions are best to savor without pictures; like a fine meal the memories of the experience fade into a vague happy mush. Still, I would have liked to throw my hat into the ring. I know a lot of talent has spent its time in the D, and maybe I don’t have anything to offer. But I feel up to the challenge.

The trip did yield a happy prize: St. Julian brandy. A full review will come eventually.

The more things change

I just wanted to remind you that 2011 is fast approaching, and with it the 19th anniversary of the release of Gwar's America Must Be Destroyed.



My Grandson's a superhero, just back from the war in Iraq

Almost 20 years later and this song is still topical. Who would have thought?

The spirits diffusion

So it looks like the wine boom across the US is starting to generate a brandy boom. The first step is to learn how to make a good product, which comes with time and experience. But they are laying the foundations in Wisconsin:

Wollersheim Winery, the state's largest winery, located in northwestern Dane County, has begun making brandy.

That's not all.


At the Door Peninsula Winery between Sturgeon Bay and Egg Harbor, a distillery is part of a $1.5 million expansion project. The German still is scheduled to begin operation in May for the production of vodka, cherry vodka, gin, brandy and whiskey, said Rob Pollman, chief operating officer of the winery founded in 1974.

The craft spirits movement is taking root across America. In other news, Fortune Brands, which owns Jim Beam and various other liquor brands, is splitting off the liquor business. So while you might see consolidation, if say Diageo decides to buy it up, but also diffusion as new brands pop up. So it goes.

This is not medical advice

So apparently Lemmy is a diabetic.

When I got diabetes they said you better stop drinking

No surprise, really. Just look at his breakfast habits



Now I'm not a doctor, so don't in any way interpret this as a medical diagnosis or medical advice. Always consult a licensed medical professional for health matters. Howevah...

Do you know how much sugar is in Jack Daniels and Coke? 39 grams of sugar! Health experts recommend no more than 40 grams of sugar a day. So if Lemmy has more than one (highly likely) then he is getting way more sugar that he should in a day.

Maybe this isn't the cause of his diabetes. But why take a chance?

Also I found this to be a curious habit here:

I drink milk everyday at some point; that’s my insurance against the dreaded disintegration of the stomach

First, what is the dreaded disintegration of the stomach? And how does milk help? Is there any medical basis for this?

Season's greetings

I invented a new drink for December. Mix:

some brandy (Christian Bros VSOP is my mixing brandy of choice)
a bit of hazelnut liqueur (is there anything besides Frangelico?)
a pinch of nutmeg and cinnamon
some milk

As usual use your own discretion in making the ratios to flavor.

I've had it cold and it is good; and the next step is to try hot milk to make it a hot, soul warming drink. I haven't come up with a name yet. Sound off in the comments.