Whale pants
Shoe horns
But I also advocate in theory on behalf of wallpapering your room instead of painting. Hey we're old and we aren't afraid of the grandkids tearing up the wallpaper. Just lock those little brats in the basement for the weekend.
Trouble is I can't find any good ones for you young folks looking to wallpaper your den. Everything today is either pastel or kitsch. Nothing classy that will go well with your leather chair, your mahogany table, your bookshelf, your smoking jacket, your pool table, and your chess table (merely decorative, you of course do not play).
Not crazy about the carpeting but nobody's perfect
Though the wood paneling is nice if you can swing it, wallpaper makes a nice border if you do have wood paneling.
I think you get the picture. Just please no pastels. How about navy blue, maroon, or hunter green? Well I am looking for some good ones to share with you folks. Just like I share good cheap whiskeys for you. The money you save on whiskey you can spend on wallpaper. And of course a painting of a ship.
I once had a dream of a ship painting. The ship was emerald green and cutting through a storm. It was called the Chartreuse, though of course chartreuse isn't emerald green. But that is another story.
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