Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Now recruiting for the booze army

Kiss has an army, so why can't Mr. Booze? That's right; I want you to enlist. As a drunk, you become a citizen of the world. And that means that you will all be assigned a certain task, predicated on your region and resources.

Alright soldier, your first task is at hand: Indian whisky. First thing's first: what the fuck is Indian whisky? Why, whisky made in India, of course! Second, why would I want to drink it? To enjoy your days under the sun. Third, where can I get it? Possibly in Canada?

Dr. Whisky has an intriguing review and tasting notes of Amrut Indian Whisky. According to their corporate website, it is distributed in Ontario (yours to discover). So I am charging any recruits near the Ontario border to infiltrate the region and procure a bottle of Amrut. Now I know that it might seem a tall order. But heed my words; it is no fool's errand. For I myself was able to venture into the depths of the Chicagoland jungle and procure three bottles of the sweetest Brandy de Jerez. My mistake last year was merely in failing to properly prepare for the recurring rendezvous. Hence I ended up with Pantera Negra. Plan well, my friends, for the reward is sweet.


Hard drink is its own reward

So, what do you have to do, exactly? It is quite simple: buy a bottle, take a picture of it, drink it, and then send me your thoughts and opinions about the experience along with the picture. I will publish it under your name/nom de plume. It can be as brief as "aroma was like smelling my hand after pumping gas, tasted like a shitty version of Maker's Mark" or it can be as in depth as a featured story in the National Geographic.

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